I OWN THIS ROAD!

[song_of_thea]

No matter what you tell me,
I’ll always treat this as a race
You’d better watch your feet,
Because there is no second place
On Hermosa Street

Who pilots the taller ship?
I do, I do!
Who would dent my BMW?
No one, if they’re smart!


I have superior engineering
I’m seated in the Captain’s chair
I really don’t care for your whining
Nor does it matter you’re pulling your hair,

All of you plebeians on the sidelines,
Just grab a chair and sit yourselves down!
Because I most surely won’t oblige
To let you cross my road!

Who pilots the taller ship?
I do, I do!
Who would dent my BMW?
No one, if they’re smart!

Stop signs are purely optional,
Crosswalks are for the weak
One-way signs are not optimal,
But don’t worry, in I’ll sneak

Move your Honda Civics and
Your Toyota Sienna
Get that garbage GM away from
My shiny grey BMW!

I mean it when I insist that it’s mine
I have no patience for you feral Philistines!
I don’t care if your child is in my line of sight
I’m rich, no one would ticket me! Right, officer?

No, that wasn’t a Benjamin I slipped the policeman,
That was just my business card
Although I must admit
You might be jealous because I have no tickets,
And look! He’s just ticketed your car!

Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Who pilots the taller ship?
I do, I do!
Who would dent my BMW?
No one, if they’re smart!

No matter what you tell me,
I’ll always treat you as inferior
I despise pedestrians and,
Crossing guards and those pesky
Bottom-rung cars that
Line Hermosa Street

You don’t understand my motive,
Nor do you feel my pain
At the thought of anyone else
Taking my parking place.



-Dedicated to the BMW driver that nearly ran a bunch of pedestrians over this morning, flooring it into a one-way lot the wrong way, and almost hitting three cars just to get a parking spot. According to authorities, this driver is a repeat offender.

Comments

[murielle]

Excellent! But oh! These kind of drivers scare me. So glad you put the AN at the end to explain. This is NOT you! :-)

Well done! :-)

[song_of_thea]

Thank you. Those kind of drivers scare me too. They need to take this person's license away.

[static_abyss]

I feel you on irresponsible drivers. And excellent method of venting your frustrations.

[song_of_thea]

Thank you. I usually rant and rave, so this method was much more satisfying.

[fausts_dream]

Ah, the power of wealth. Very amusing (and slightly angering) entry.

[song_of_thea]

Thank you. This driver lives in my neighborhood. There are several like him, but he is the worst.

[halfshellvenus]

Good lord. Someone needs to lose their license and have their car impounded.

I never thought that first stanza was to be taken literally. :O

A parking spot is not worth someone's life!

[the_eternal_overthinker]

Ah! Well..one of the superstar from bollywood got away with killing poor homeless pedestrians who were sleeping on the pavement and the case went on for years(10 years) and he was released Scot- free since the driver took his blame. The power of money..this hit home for me in many ways. Good job!

[rayaso]

What a great idea -- a poem about a jerk driver! I loved "feral Philistines" in particular. Great job!

[wolfden]

Jerk drivers are the worst.

[bellatrixe]

Those kinds of drivers scare - and annoy!- me too, argh D:
Brilliant piece though!

[dmousey]

I have to rely on medical transport to get to my doc visits (very dysfunctional left leg), few times there I wished I had my ability to drive back! I actually had to ask for one to slow down, as he had me terrified!

Nice piece. 😊✌🐁🐭

[flipflop_diva]

Omg that driver :| People like that are seriously the worst. Only good thing about them is they gave you an awesome entry, which is in turns funny and rage-inducing.