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I OWN THIS ROAD!
Nov. 29th, 2018 09:45 amNo matter what you tell me,
I’ll always treat this as a race
You’d better watch your feet,
Because there is no second place
On Hermosa Street
Who pilots the taller ship?
I do, I do!
Who would dent my BMW?
No one, if they’re smart!
I have superior engineering
I’m seated in the Captain’s chair
I really don’t care for your whining
Nor does it matter you’re pulling your hair,
All of you plebeians on the sidelines,
Just grab a chair and sit yourselves down!
Because I most surely won’t oblige
To let you cross my road!
Who pilots the taller ship?
I do, I do!
Who would dent my BMW?
No one, if they’re smart!
Stop signs are purely optional,
Crosswalks are for the weak
One-way signs are not optimal,
But don’t worry, in I’ll sneak
Move your Honda Civics and
Your Toyota Sienna
Get that garbage GM away from
My shiny grey BMW!
I mean it when I insist that it’s mine
I have no patience for you feral Philistines!
I don’t care if your child is in my line of sight
I’m rich, no one would ticket me! Right, officer?
No, that wasn’t a Benjamin I slipped the policeman,
That was just my business card
Although I must admit
You might be jealous because I have no tickets,
And look! He’s just ticketed your car!
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Who pilots the taller ship?
I do, I do!
Who would dent my BMW?
No one, if they’re smart!
No matter what you tell me,
I’ll always treat you as inferior
I despise pedestrians and,
Crossing guards and those pesky
Bottom-rung cars that
Line Hermosa Street
You don’t understand my motive,
Nor do you feel my pain
At the thought of anyone else
Taking my parking place.
-Dedicated to the BMW driver that nearly ran a bunch of pedestrians over this morning, flooring it into a one-way lot the wrong way, and almost hitting three cars just to get a parking spot. According to authorities, this driver is a repeat offender.
I’ll always treat this as a race
You’d better watch your feet,
Because there is no second place
On Hermosa Street
Who pilots the taller ship?
I do, I do!
Who would dent my BMW?
No one, if they’re smart!
I have superior engineering
I’m seated in the Captain’s chair
I really don’t care for your whining
Nor does it matter you’re pulling your hair,
All of you plebeians on the sidelines,
Just grab a chair and sit yourselves down!
Because I most surely won’t oblige
To let you cross my road!
Who pilots the taller ship?
I do, I do!
Who would dent my BMW?
No one, if they’re smart!
Stop signs are purely optional,
Crosswalks are for the weak
One-way signs are not optimal,
But don’t worry, in I’ll sneak
Move your Honda Civics and
Your Toyota Sienna
Get that garbage GM away from
My shiny grey BMW!
I mean it when I insist that it’s mine
I have no patience for you feral Philistines!
I don’t care if your child is in my line of sight
I’m rich, no one would ticket me! Right, officer?
No, that wasn’t a Benjamin I slipped the policeman,
That was just my business card
Although I must admit
You might be jealous because I have no tickets,
And look! He’s just ticketed your car!
Ha, ha, ha, ha!
Who pilots the taller ship?
I do, I do!
Who would dent my BMW?
No one, if they’re smart!
No matter what you tell me,
I’ll always treat you as inferior
I despise pedestrians and,
Crossing guards and those pesky
Bottom-rung cars that
Line Hermosa Street
You don’t understand my motive,
Nor do you feel my pain
At the thought of anyone else
Taking my parking place.
-Dedicated to the BMW driver that nearly ran a bunch of pedestrians over this morning, flooring it into a one-way lot the wrong way, and almost hitting three cars just to get a parking spot. According to authorities, this driver is a repeat offender.
