song_of_thea: (Default)
song_of_thea ([personal profile] song_of_thea) wrote2018-11-29 09:45 am

I OWN THIS ROAD!

No matter what you tell me,
I’ll always treat this as a race
You’d better watch your feet,
Because there is no second place
On Hermosa Street

Who pilots the taller ship?
I do, I do!
Who would dent my BMW?
No one, if they’re smart!


I have superior engineering
I’m seated in the Captain’s chair
I really don’t care for your whining
Nor does it matter you’re pulling your hair,

All of you plebeians on the sidelines,
Just grab a chair and sit yourselves down!
Because I most surely won’t oblige
To let you cross my road!

Who pilots the taller ship?
I do, I do!
Who would dent my BMW?
No one, if they’re smart!

Stop signs are purely optional,
Crosswalks are for the weak
One-way signs are not optimal,
But don’t worry, in I’ll sneak

Move your Honda Civics and
Your Toyota Sienna
Get that garbage GM away from
My shiny grey BMW!

I mean it when I insist that it’s mine
I have no patience for you feral Philistines!
I don’t care if your child is in my line of sight
I’m rich, no one would ticket me! Right, officer?

No, that wasn’t a Benjamin I slipped the policeman,
That was just my business card
Although I must admit
You might be jealous because I have no tickets,
And look! He’s just ticketed your car!

Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Who pilots the taller ship?
I do, I do!
Who would dent my BMW?
No one, if they’re smart!

No matter what you tell me,
I’ll always treat you as inferior
I despise pedestrians and,
Crossing guards and those pesky
Bottom-rung cars that
Line Hermosa Street

You don’t understand my motive,
Nor do you feel my pain
At the thought of anyone else
Taking my parking place.



-Dedicated to the BMW driver that nearly ran a bunch of pedestrians over this morning, flooring it into a one-way lot the wrong way, and almost hitting three cars just to get a parking spot. According to authorities, this driver is a repeat offender.

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